I'm on hold!! No wait...nevermind.
Yesterday, I found out shortly after a commercial audition callback that I had been put on hold. It was music to my ears! Not the terrible on-hold music they play when you’re waiting forever for a Rogers representative to pick up...this music was choice (to use an expression from the 1930’s that nobody currently alive can relate to and ergo should probably make a long-overdue comeback YES I SAID ERGO)!!
It’s a commercial that I’d really like to do, ‘cause it’s a genuinely funny spot. I say “I’d like to” because I haven’t actually booked the job yet. I thought it might be advantageous, spirit-wise, to pen this blog while waiting to hear whether or not I’ve secured the gig. My first reaction to this wacky interior suggestion was, “Don’t! You’ll jinx it!!”.
My go-to jinxing response persuaded me to examine the situation a little closer. After all, what was I afraid of? I truly was thrilled to receive the compliment of being put on hold. Final round, baby! I’m killing it! Add the fifty bucks for making it to the callbacks, and I’d call it a gagnant-gagnant! Anything more is an embarrassment of riches! Why shouldn’t I share my good news with the world?
Because, of course, there’s a decent chance I won’t land the job, and the world might judge me for it. I might be embarrassed. Or, I might haplessly force people into commiserating with me…”that sucks!”...”they shouldn’t put so many people on hold!”...”commercials are stupid!” ...or ”it’s their loss!!”. I don’t want to get everyone all in a lather on my behalf, for corn sakes!
Or, worst of all, perhaps I’ll judge myself. That seems the likeliest peril. I’m never quite good enough. I always come in second. I’m never what they’re looking for. I’m always using words like “ergo”. Sound familiar? (PS when broad, generalized words like “always” and “never” turn up in your self-complaints, you’ll know the ego is rattling your squirrel cage)
The truth is, whether I’m judging myself, or I believe somebody else is judging me, I’m the one who is actually judging me, cause I’m the one who is accepting the judgment, either way. The good news about this statement is, in either case, I’m the one who can decide not to accept the judgment. It’s in my hands. Or in my mind, to be more accurate.
And how do I not accept a judgment? I reject it. It’s that simple. I choose again. I choose love. I say it out loud. Because I know my own measureless worth. It’s the same as your measureless worth. And because I know the judgment is based on a false belief (always), and the love is real (always and for keeps). You know love is real, cause it makes you feel marvelous, instead of all ooglie, like the judgment! Gagnant encore!
As for being on hold, I’ve already released my attachment to whether I get the job or not. It’s SO much easier. I’m full of excitement for the process if I get it, and I’m full of excitement for the process if I don’t. I’ve got everything I need either way. Always. And so do you! Look around and check it out! We’re lucky ducks that way!!
I love you!! SO. MUCH. Gagnant!!