Patience!
There’s a few things, I’ve noticed, that we seem to be a bit short of during the time of Covid - toilet paper, physical human touch, and patience.
Let’s face it, we’re impatient critters at the best of times. As life, with it’s cornucopia of new-millennium wonders, has grown exponentially more convenient - we seem to have become more and more cantankerous. We are hardcore convenience-junkies! I always said Sunday shopping was a slippery slope! (FACT CHECK: I never actually said that - but I DO dig the alliteration...try saying it, it’s fun!) We’ve become deeply accustomed to getting what we want when we want it...and if we don’t get it, we get EVEN. Or, at least, GOOD AND MIFFED. I mean, if I tell the google-lady to tell my robo-fridge to automatically order more jalapeño cheezie strings from the electronical grocery Cloud, and then there’s a conspicuous absence of jalapeño cheezie strings at my fingertips when I need a jalapeño cheezie string, there will be JAL to PEÑO. (yes, that joke is a stretch, but I worked hard for it...maybe just give it to me this time. What do you mean, just like all the other times??)
I don’t know about you, but I’ve also noticed that my sidewalk rage has intensified over the past several weeks. Even while strolling in the best of times, I’ve got a mental protractor set, always at the ready, that geometrically calculates and assigns everyone's ideal sidewalk position (FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY - STAY RIGHT, PEOPLE)....factor in a continuous 6-foot safety-radius and that’s a whole new kettle of control issues! But honestly, if everyone just strictly followed my non-negotiable telepathic instructions, we’d all get to where we’re going a lot faster and be a lot happier, don’t you think? Can’t you see I’m doing it for all of YOU?? I SAID BE HAPPIER!! So ungrateful.
Just between us, I get very impatient with my lack of patience sometimes. But, with a good old-fashioned perspective-check, I can see that impatience is always a rejection of the current moment. Of course, this rejection comes in a sneaky variety of flavours, and some flavours are subtler than others. For example, when I’m standing in one of those nouveau-chic socially-distanced lineups at the No Frills or the Booze Boutique (is red wine too heavy for a pandemic? Answer: NEVER) and I get impatient, it’s because I’m rejecting this moment with the absolute certainty that I should be further along in the line than I am. Amigos, this is what you call a delusion. With great assurance I can proclaim that if I was supposed to be further along in the line I WOULD ACTUALLY BE THERE. But I’m not. It seems obvious, but we do love to argue with reality. We’ll leave the current moment to go off on an imaginary snit-safari, convinced there’s a much better moment waiting at the other end of the line. And after 15 minutes of mud-wrestling in the miserable mindspace you’ve created in your coconut, you get around the corner and see the same line stretching another half a block. And so it goes! And who knows - perhaps while you’re in line, the store is re-stocking your favourite brand of creamed corn, or that fancy root beer liqueur you like...I mean, miracles do happen! Trust that the line will take care of itself in its own perfect timing, and be where you are! Life gingerly deposits you precisely where you’re supposed to be! So, for the love of pancakes, enjoy it! Patience is loving where you are, ‘cause it’s a packed and perfectly-curated moment prepared just for you!
The other day, in just such a lineup, I noticed I was developing very strong opinions about where people should be standing, and how they should be paying better attention to their pre-approved safety-radius. It’s a very frustrating thing not to be able to control people when you know best! I decided it was probably a good idea to direct my helpful suggestions to the only person I had a prayer of controlling...me. (and even then it was a crapshoot whether I would listen). But, dagnabbit, as long as I’m sporting sensible orthopedic footwear, I can always move myself! What’s more, I can even elect not to resent it. Some people are, understandably, really spooked right now - a little bit of patience can go a long way (even longer than one of those lineups)! Getting annoyed because you want somebody to be different than they are is like getting annoyed at a cow ‘cause you want it to quack (seems like a cool idea but bovine elocutionists are prohibitively pricey). Patience is accepting them exactly as they are (especially the cows). We’re all doing the very best we can with whatever Cirque du Soleil show we have tumbling in our minds at any given time. Patience is compassionate and clear-headed - understanding that someone else’s confusion doesn’t need to be defended against with your own.
You may be impatient with life right now. That’s completely understandable! Our chaotic but familiar status quo has been rudely interrupted by a chaotic and unfamiliar pause. You may be wishing you could blip right over the next however-long-this-pesky-pause-is-gonna-take. But since we’re taking this intermission to best ensure everybody’s safety for the next Act, and since we’re here...let’s stretch our legs and look around, shall we? Instead of wishing this moment were different, let’s be grateful for everything that’s right in front of our glorious snouts, and embrace this time to rest and reflect and re-energize! Patience is gratitude for this marvelous mystery-of-a-moment!
And at this gorgeous moment, I’m incredibly grateful for you! I’d be most beholden to you if you’d stay well, stay safe, stay sane and STAY HOME! Be patient with each other and with yourself, even if you get impatient at times! You are ridiculously worthy of your own sweetest brand of kindness right this moment and in every moment!
I’ve been extremely patient in waiting until the very end of this note to say I love you! Now I can really savour that!
💓💓💓