Next Stop...Isolation Station!
Tyler Check (boy genius and bosom pal) and I are launching a brand new podcast this week, called Next Stop...Isolation Station! We chat with upbeat folks about how they’re coping in Covid time, and try to get a little perspective on this somewhat confusing and vexing interlude. The driving force behind the project is to gently get across the message that you’re not alone; and that, underneath all those crippling thoughts of a terrifying future, you’re okay!
Sometimes, when we’re changing trains at Isolation Station, we can feel kinda lonesome. I, myself, despite possessing a lampshade-chapeau for simply every occasion, have often suffered from a bad case of the Mr. Lonelys. And I can confirm, from personal experience, that once you pinch your nose and cannonball into that quicksand of despair, escape becomes more and more elusive - as every miserable thought is entered as evidence into the case you’re building as to why you’re the loneliest and most unloved person in the world (surprisingly, a LOT of us vie for this title). The case seems pretty airtight, too - especially since you’re also the judge in the trial, not to mention the jury! It’s hard to remember, in the midst of the delicious drama of it all, that the entire case is built on quicksand. A quicksand of lies. (CUE THREE EERIE CHORDS, then cut to a SPOILER ALERT: building ANYTHING on quicksand is a TERRIBLE idea...especially an entire identity!)
The reason we feel lonely is because we think something is missing. Of course, often that something is a somebody. And that’s understandable! Humans are sociable animules! Some of us are downright convivial! We’re conditioned, right out of the plastic, to get busy socializin’. Find a good playmate, find a good friend, find a good partner, find a good mechanic...maybe a good taxidermist (depending in which geographical region you were hatched). Without a sufficiently-stuffed rolodex, we risk feeling like social flops. Many of us are not readily equipped to be stellar at enjoying our own company. To properly understate it, we can get good ‘n’ squirrelly when left unattended for too long.
Do you know who’s missing when you’re lonely? YOU. You’ve mentally jet-skied out of the still habour of reality, and smack into the treacherous 10-foot waves of a future-delusion - where you have long, meandering chats with houseplants, watch Love Is Blind on a loop, and unceremoniously die alone. (man, those are some pretty choppy waters...where’s my Gravol?? **DISCLAIMER: this blog is not sponsored by Gravol™) Do you see? YOU are the one you’ve been pining for! When you’re really present, and not judging or complaining or wishing things were different in this moment, YOU are the comfort, and the calm, and the joy, and the mirth, and the voice of reason for yourself. Everybody else who happens by is just gravy! (of course, I mean the best kind of gravy - homemade and pas lumpé) But you...you are the main course! So switch off the tragic movies you’re streaming in your coconut for a little while, come to table and chow down. Oh yeah, maybe put your phone away, too. It’s time to experience what good company you are!
Don’t get me wrong - I know so many spectacular people...and so do you! In the rough-and-tumble of showbiz (fun fact...as I said that, I was fully saying it á la Sammy Davis Jr…I just thought you should know), you don’t see your friends as often as you’d like. Some years ago, a conspiracy unfolded where a lot of my dear friends moved far away and I felt positively abandoned. (LIFEHACK - people love it when you turn their life pursuits into your victim story...try it at your next potluck!) I realized through that experience, however, that I don’t have to miss them...the same beautiful image I had of them when they lived within Daiquiri-distance is the same beautiful image I have of them across the world. All I ever had of them, really, was my sweet concept of them, locked inside my comical noggin...and I’ll always have that, no matter what. So I don’t have to miss them, 'cause I have them. And of course it’s fantastic to see people in the glorious flesh! But, there are times you just can’t. And if I decide to spawn a melodramatic medley of hit thoughts like, “Everybody leaves me”, or “I’ll never find friends like that again” or “How come my box salad never makes it to the best before date??”, I’ll flush myself down a superfluous suffering spiral over a dubious collection of blatant and egregious falsehoods! Cases in point - there’s quite a contingent of folks who have not left me, I have absolutely no idea what friends I will or won’t have in the future, and there’s been a smattering of occasions where my box salad lasted several days beyond its best before date! All lies, I tell you!! The mind adores making itself your indispensable bestie by sucking you into all its drama...tell it to SAVE IT FOR THE STAGE! And the defense rests.
Listen, I understand that this time of isolation can be tough - especially if you’re going through it on your own. I would encourage you to take advantage of this insistent extended 5 we’re taking by endeavouring to enjoy your own company. Do your best to ignore the nagging thoughts of an unjust past or an uncertain future...shut that shinola down, even just for a few minutes at a time. The only thing that’s actually happening is right now. And, underneath those gloomy thought-downers, you are absolutely okay. Keep checking in with yourself, even if it’s sweet moment to sweet moment. How are you NOW? Covered in ants? Surrounded by scorpions? No? Then it could be worse! You have everything you need in every moment, and then some. CHECK IT.
If I told you how magnificent you are (SUBTEXT ALERT: I’M TELLING YOU NOW), you would be too terrified to agree for fear that the moment you did, a cartoon anvil would fall on your head. You have no idea how lucky you are to be isolating with someone as fabulous as yourself! You are a miracle. You are so very worthy of your own kindness! So be kind to yourself...breathe, relax, be extremely silly from time to time for no particular reason, and see what this marvelous, magical moment holds for you. You may be surprised!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. EVER. We are all in this charming little dinghy together! There’s too many ways of communicating in this go-go millennium not to reach out if you’ve a mind to!
Oh yes, and listen to our new podcast, Next Stop...Isolation Station! We chat with some really fun folks who have some uplifting insights and great coping tips! Look for it wherever you listen to your daily podcasts! Let’s all be isolated together!! I love you!! Be well, and keep smilin’!! 💓💓💓